New Horizons
by PurpleSheep
Summary: Set inbetween TR:2013 & Rise of the Tomb Raider. Sam isn't coping following the traumatic events of Yamatai; and neither is Lara. This story is looking at the possible steps following Yamatai leading to therapy and adventure.
1. Calm After the Storm

**Chapter One: Calm After the Storm**

_Fire. Fire everywhere. She couldn't _breathe_. Golden flames where licking at her ankles and she couldn't stand the heat; it sent her pulse racing. She couldn't find an exit. Pure panic consumed her as adrenaline coursed through her legs; she darted. She could barely see beyond her outstretched arms, the thick smoke obscuring her vision. The ash scorched her throat; each breath making it raw, each breath becoming more ragged. Her gasping breath was coming in short bursts, and her mind was becoming sluggish from the lack of air. _You need to _move _girl, you need to _move_. _She could _feel _rather than hear the building creek around her. She was terrified. Her vision was pulsating and she fell to her knees, the smouldering floor charring her hands and knees. This was it. Her face met the floor and she swears she could hear it _sizzle. _Tears leaked from her heavy lids, she watched the room glow around her. _

_A pair of battered boots stepped into her vision and her stomach dropped. _Mathias. _The solid kick to her side drew all air from her and she lost consciousness temporarily. A deep chuckle reverberated around her skull and when she opened her eyes her heart stopped. He cocked the pistol and fired. _

Hands latched onto her shoulders. "_Lara!"_

_Who was Lara? _Everything was dark. She was distantly aware of a girl sobbing, ragged breaths coming in bursts. Her heart was pounding. She couldn't breathe properly. She shook her head to try and clear it, only to feel something wet trail down her face. _Where was she? _Consciousness was rushing to the surface and she became acutely aware that she was tangled up; her side ablaze.

Her eyes flew open to find Sam directly above her, her small hands pushing on her shoulders, and tears brimming on her lower lashes. It was all of a sudden very clear that the jagged breaths where emanating between her _own _lips. She choked back a sob. _It was a dream _she thought_. _She squeezed her eyes together and sucked in a deep breath, attempting to calm her racing heart. She needed to be back in control. There was a dull roar flaring up in her abdomen, she bit her lip and screwed up her eyes to distract herself from the throbbing.

"Hey it's okay" Sam soothed, relaxing the hold on Lara's shoulders but not letting go completely. "You gave me quite the fright" she said, a nervous laugh creeping up her throat. The amusement didn't reach her eyes though. In fact her face was full of worry. Tears still clung to her lashes and her skin was deathly pale. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth and waited patiently for Lara to calm down, rubbing small circles where her thumbs rested on her collarbone. _She hated this. _Lara's nightmares were becoming a regular occurrence.

The deep breaths steadied Lara's heart but she still kept her eyes scrunched up tight. This was _embarrassing. _Yamatai was still exceptionally fresh; her wounds were tender and the drugs clouded her usually sharp mind. She wasn't coping. She was well and truly on her way to falling apart.

"I'm sorry Sam" Lara said eventually, her voice cracking in her raw throat. She brought up her hands and baled fists into her eyes to dry away her remaining tears.

Sam relocated her hand to Lara's thigh and gave a firm squeeze. "What are you apologising for Sweetie? Is it that British side coming out again?" she chuckled, a little too forcefully.

The archaeologist attempted to push herself into a sitting position, but flinched before she even lifted her shoulders off the pillow. A drawn out growl left her lips. Concern immediately crossed Sam's features. She began to untangle she sheets twisted around Lara's torso. A dark irregular stain stood out from her white vest top. _"Shit" _Sam breathed, her eyes frozen over the spot.

Lara swiftly brought up her hand to assess the damage but it was intercepted by Sam's cool fingers wrapping around her wrist, she placed it by her side again. "No... No don't touch it sweetie" Sam began, panic edging its way into her voice. "Let me have a look at it" she said hurriedly.

She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. She was feeling woozy. _Don't Nishimura. You need to do this._

She slowly pulled up the top, the fabric peeling away with ease. A whimper escaped Lara's lips and Sam quickly issued an apology. The majority of her wound was neatly sealed, save for a small split in the middle of the stitching. It should heal itself; it had just bled out quite a bit. Sam pushed back a wave of nausea and breathed a sigh of relief.

"It just needs redressing sweetie, it's just a small tear" Sam reassured her. "It should heal fine on it's... Lara?" She glanced back up at Lara's face to find it contorted into a grimace. "Hey, hey look at me babe". She moved her position up the bed and brushed Lara's fringe out of her eyes, keeping a hand resting on her cheek.

Lara's breathing was deep and laboured. Her eyes remained tightly shut and she firmly shook her head. Sam stared down at her face. A thin sheen of sweat coated her forehead and neck, her face shone pale in the moonlit room. The pulse in her neck was racing; Sam could _see _it jumping there. She recognised the symptoms just as Lara's breathing sped up.

"Sweetie you..." was as far as Sam got before Lara's resolve broke. She was gulping air erratically; a whine had been building in her throat as panic set in.

"Oh God Sam. _Oh God._ It won't go away. I can't... I can't". Tears poured from her eyes. "_I can't do this". _She brought her hands up to her face and covered it with them.

"Lara, you need to listen. Take deep breaths for me. You're panicking, I _need _you to breathe" Sam pushed down on her shoulders to try and minimise any further damage to Lara's side. That was the last thing they both needed right now.

"It hurts Sam, it hurts so much" Lara gasped. The way she said it sounded rather ambiguous. _Did she mean her side? _Sam thought. She brushed her fringe out of her eyes and hushed her, whispering soothing words; allowing Lara to calm herself.

She eventually gathered herself. With the last few deep breathes she looked directly at Sam and she could feel her resolve break all over again as she saw the worry in her eyes. Warmth filled her chest. _Sam cared about her. _It was a lovely realisation. This bubbly, chatty girl cared about how she was; and it was startling, yet heartbreaking at the same time. With her emotions on a high she had to hold back the tears again.

"You want to talk about it?" Sam questioned; concern still present on her face. She knew Lara wasn't one for talking about her feelings, but she seemed so overwhelmed right now, she might want to get it out of her system.

The two girls stared silently at one another for a few moments, one in concern, the other in sorrow. Lara pulled her lip between her teeth, her eyebrows meeting at the middle. "Come here" she said simply, pushing back the sheets to make room for Sam to squeeze in next to her. She didn't move.

"It scares me you know", said Sam, studying Lara's face in the dim light of the room. "When you have nightmares like that. It's terrifying to know that you're trapped in your mind, and there's nothing I can do other than watch and pray you'll wake up soon". Tears were returning in her eyes and Lara felt her heartstrings being pulled. "To watch you twist and turn, and the things you say..." she trailed off. She turned her head towards her lap.

Lara didn't know what to say. She didn't realise that Sam was so affected by her nightmares. It never once crossed her mind. To now hear this girl confessing this, to hear this insight was somewhat crushing. She felt a frown forming over her face and she stared intently at the top of Sam's head, her face hidden from view. She repeated herself, "come here, please", her eyes imploring. She had no words right now.

Sam's face relaxed slightly, her anxieties not completely gone. She worried her lip again, as if in thought. She shook her head to herself. "Let me fix up your side first sweetie, then I'm all yours" a genuine smile graced Sam's face and Lara couldn't help the corner of her own mouth tug upwards. She sucked in a deep breath and nodded on the exhale. She felt Sam's weight leave the bed.

She stared up at the ceiling trying to rid her head of the dream; she knew she wouldn't be sleeping any time soon, it_ always_ was the case. She reached her hand out to where her lamp was and flicked the switch. She had to scrunch her eyes shut at the discomfort the light brought; instead she stared to finger her bandage ready to pull it off.

She could hear the bathroom door close as Sam's footsteps made their path back up to their room. When she entered Lara could see her fringe curtaining her face, a glimpse of her skin revealed that it very pale beyond it. By the time she padded across the room to sit back on the bed Lara could see her eyes were red-rimmed. _She'd been crying. _

"Sam". She refused to look Lara in the eye. "Sam please don't be upset". She hastily brushed her wrist over her cheek and sucked in a breath, glancing up at Lara. "Let's get this off shall we?" a strained smile on her face. Lara knew better than to push it, they'd talk _later. _

With her side still being sore, removing the adhesive padding was more uncomfortable than Lara would have liked. She found clenching her teeth helped _somewhat. _It was when Sam applied the antiseptic that white flashed behind her eyes. She cried out and curled into her side, her breathing uneven.

It was the sniffle she heard from Sam which forced her to pry her eyes open. Again her hair was covering most of her face, she was distracting herself with unwrapping the new dressing; hands shaking. Lara reached out and steadied them. _"let me finish this Lara", _her voice was wobbly. Lara let Sam place the bandage before she whispered "stay with me". She _needed _her.

The expression on Sam's face then was unreadable. It unnerved Lara. She seemed to be studying her face. Before Lara could fathom it Sam was moving the unused items from the first aid kit to the bedside table, her face shielded once more.

Sam shifted on the bed, placing herself next to Lara and untangled the sheets so she could get in with her. Lying down on her back she pulled up the sheets and stared at the ceiling, her eyes glazed over.

Lara felt out of her depth. They'd done this many times before, yet things had changed now. They'd both been through so much, and it was beginning to show. She didn't know what to say to Sam anymore. Instead she reached her hand out beneath the sheets and wrapped her little finger around Sam's, and old gesture they shared.

Sam's eyes closed, she seemed to be struggling with herself. She rolled on her side to face Lara, entwining their fingers together. "Thank you", breathed Lara. She didn't know what else to say. Sam inhaled as if to say something but seemed to decide against it. She simply drew a small smile.

They stayed like that for a long while, Lara didn't realise she was drifting off to sleep until Sam murmured "I can't sleep properly anymore". Lara twitched into consciousness and focused her eyes towards Sam. A shaft of moonlight fell across her hair, and she could see her eyes glittering in the dark. She sounded so lost.

"Me too" Lara replied. There seemed to be a mutual understanding in the silence that followed. Sam shifted her weight and edged closer to Lara, tucking her head into the crook of her neck and drawing her free arm across her ribcage; Lara's arm wrapping her against her side.

"I don't know how we're going to get through this" Lara whispered into Sam's hair, kissing the crown of her head. She brought up her hand and twirled Sam's dark locks absentmindedly.

Sam's own fingers had started drawing patterns on Lara's side; the sensation was pleasing in contrast to the pain she'd been in recently. "I... I've been thinking..." Sam began; she left the sentence hanging deliberately. She pulled her head up and gazed down at Lara's face. At this close proximity she could see the spit in Lara's lip still yet to heal completely. "I don't think we can do this on our own". She paused, watching Lara's face closely for any reaction. Her brows were coming together and Sam knew she'd lost the battle before it had begun. She started to blurt out everything as fast as she could.

"You've been getting worse, and I don't know how to fix this. I can't bear to see you like this, not any more... and I... I'm not coping", her breath hitched on her last word and she pulled her head down, choosing to focus instead on Lara's green pendant. Her eyes filled with tears and spilled down her cheeks.

Lara felt her throat tighten at the sight; she was never any good at dealing with an emotional Sam. It broke her heart. "Sam I..." her voice cracked as her resolve was breaking. _Don't you dare Croft. _"I don't want help from anyone else. I can't talk about it yet. I just need more time". Sam's shoulders began to shake and Lara knew she'd said the wrong thing. "Sam... Sam look at me". She refused, instead gulping in a deep breath and letting out a sob, followed by another one, her face back in Lara's neck.

Lara held her firmly against her as she shook, dragging her fingers through her hair in an attempt to sooth her; she was blinking back her own tears. "I don't want you to feel like this" she said softly into Sam's ear. "If you think talking to a therapist will help you then I'll support that, but I can't do that yet, it's... it's not me".

She heard an intake of breath and felt Sam's shoulders rise. Sam nodded into her chest and whimpered one last time. Lara pushed her shoulders back to look her in the eyes. The early morning glow revealed them to be bloodshot and watery. She reached out and brushed a thumb over Sam's cheek to wipe away the remaining tears, pulling her lips into a taught smile.

"We'll get through this babe, we have to" Lara said, her eyes fixed over Sam's. Sam returned her own forced smile which didn't quite reach her eyes. She snuggled her head back into Lara before she had chance to question the look. "I sure hope so sweetie" was her response. The way she said it was somewhat detached.

Lara pushed out a sigh and made herself comfortable against Sam, deciding that a resolution wouldn't be found tonight. Sam's fingers had returned to the base of her ribs and were taunting her with slow ticklish swirls. Lara allowed her eyes to slip shut to enjoy the sensitivity it brought. She missed times like this at university, when they'd be dreadfully hung-over and seeking comfort in one another alongside a lazy Sunday afternoon film. Even when she felt rotten Sam was criticising the camerawork. It's what Lara loved about Sam, the fine line between party girl and the passion she held for her work.

Things had changed.

Sam twitch against her as sleep consumed her, her fingers idly resting below her breast. Lara didn't usually experience so much comfort from another person; that was Sam's forte to bring back guests at early hours, something which Lara never felt wholly comfortable about. Glancing down she could see Sam's porcelain face pressed up against her breast, her nose squished up. She looked _cute. _The thought wasn't unusual to Lara, in-fact it was ever increasing ever since Yamatai. She wasn't sure how that made her feel.

She placed a tender kiss on Sam's forehead, a soft moan escaping the older woman. She nestled herself into her pillows, turning her body to embrace Sam, their legs tangling.

She cleared her mind and focused on Sam's even breathing as it blew against her neck. She was _far _too comfortable. The threshold of their friendship was becoming more questionable in her mind. For now Lara couldn't care less. They both needed this.

She allowed her conscious to be pulled down into darkness, her worries temporarily departing her mind.

She slept soundly.


	2. Coping Mechanisms

**Chapter Two: Coping Mechanisms**

The weather was dismal, fitting for autumn in England. The rain was hammering down on the streets and the clouds cast an eerie gloom which was only erased by the tiny house lights.

Footfalls slapped down on the sodden pavements as a young girl hurried home. A dark hood was pulled tight over her fringe at no avail, the blustery gale allowed the water to penetrate through the cloth and run down her neck. Her other arm cradled a haversack to her chest, her body arched around it to protect it from the weather.

She turned the final corner and ran up the steps leading to her flat, her numb fingers fumbling around her pocket for the key. The warmth of the entrance hall was welcoming. She pushed back the hood and brushed wet hair away from her cheeks.

A quick inspection of her bag confirmed that the books had survived the rainy journey from the library; a sigh of relief escaped her lips.

She had been frequenting the library ever since that night with Sam. For some reason she couldn't stop the conversation running through her head. _"I don't think we can do this on our own... I'm not coping". _The anguish on Sam's face was burned into her retinas, and she couldn't face it. It would catch her off-guard when she was completing the most mundane tasks. Her heart would skip and dread would sink in place.

It was easier when she was researching, she could burry herself in her archaeology and nothing could penetrate her. Not even Sam. She knew this wasn't healthy.

She had reached her flat door; a faint melancholic tune could be heard on the other side. She paused, her hand covering the handle. Nerves were bubbling inside of her as she rested her forehead against the doorframe. _Please be in a good mood Sam. _As much as she wanted this she knew that there was little chance of it. A sombre atmosphere had been hovering in the flat for days and showed no signs of lifting. She _didn't _know how to fix this, she was broken too.

The latched clicked and she pushed the door open. The whole flat was in darkness. She threw her keys in the bowl and placed her bag against the couch.

"Sam?" She said into the darkness. There was no answer over the hum of music. She flicked on a lamp and tugged off her jacket with some difficulty, setting it on the radiator to dry. Her boots followed.

"Sam I'm back" she repeated. Again there was no answer. She glanced down the short corridor leading where the music was emanating from. She didn't like the ambience of the flat.

She took a hesitant step towards the passage, her pace was slow. She could see a faint glow coming from the end of the corridor that she recognised from a laptop screen. _She must be at the table. _She moved forwards, the room coming into view.

She found Sam. She was sitting at the table with her back towards her. Her body was silhouetted by the digital light, the sight was somewhat _sinister. _She edged closer to view the screen over her shoulder. There where old photographs on the monitor, images of herself and Sam in Bulgaria. She was flicking through them slowly and deliberately, as if taking in every little detail.

She settled on one. Lara remembered the details of image well. They had been camping on the outskirts of the village Devetaki, close to Devetáshka cave. Lara had insisted that they visit the local karst system; the history of human occupancy there over thousands of years was _fascinating. _Sam agreed to the excursion on the premise that they were to have a heavy drinking session once they had arrived at the local village.

"_Fuck" Lara said under her breath. They were five pints down and stumbling back out of town to find their tent. Sam's arm was thrown haphazardly around her neck. Lara clutched at the hand resting on her shoulder. _

_Sam giggled into her neck, her ticklish breath sending a shiver down her spine. "Where-" another giggle. "Where did we put the tent sweetie?" she slumped heavily into Lara's side. _

_Lara scoured the horizon. "I..." She was sure it was somewhere around here, it was too dark to see. "I'm not... sure Sam" a hiccup. "I can't see a bloody thing". _

_As if affirming what Lara said, Sam pulled her face out of Lara's neck to assess the area. "Oh..." she said. They had come to a standstill. There was silence for a few seconds before Sam inhaled sharply, a light bulb moment. _

"_Lara! Use, we can use my camera. It has. It has a. The lights. It can see the dark". _

_It didn't sink in immediately what Sam was talking about, her mind was sluggish – this was _why _she didn't drink. _

"_Sam, you're a genius, a bloody genius". She pulled herself away from the girl and turned her towards her, patting down her sides to find where it was clipped to her belt. _

_Sam swayed and leaned her head on Lara's shoulder, her arms resting around Lara's waist. "Let's just... stay here" mumbled Sam. "It's comfy, you're comfy". She snuggled further into Lara. _

"_Sam, we'll freeze" she replied, fumbling around her hips – she found the clip. "-And we won't get a good night's sleep here, and we're caving in the morning-"._

"_Lara" Sam had turned her head into Lara's neck. "Shh. Just-"she kissed her neck. Lara froze. _

_She giggled again and pulled back, eyes level with Lara's. "You're-" a hiccup. "You're so uptight sweetie. You're not even sober!" she threw her arms into the air as if to emphasise the fact. She grabbed the camera in Lara's hands and opened screen. _

_Lara was staring at her, arms slack at her sides. Sam was _way _too smashed, and she didn't even realise it. The camera was suddenly in her face, a little red light glaring at her. _

"_Smile sweetie!" Sam was back at her side and placing a kiss on her cheek. It was fleeting. She pulled away to face the camera, just as Lara turned to face her. The flash alerted her to the fact that she wasn't ready for the snapshot. _

_Before she knew it Sam had turned the screen around and had opened the photo gallery to view the selfie. It was... _cute. _Sam's dark fringe, messy over her glazed eyes. Her head tilted into the crook of Lara's neck, lips parted in a toothy grin, dimples on the edges of her mouth..._

_And herself? Her blushing cheek faced the camera. Her hair falling out of its tie and loose tendrils were scattered about her face. Her eyes were dark with something she couldn't quite place... there was a tiny curl at the corner of her mouth. She loved it. They looked _good _together. _

"_Awesome" said Sam. "I knew... I- fuck. I knew this was the camera. This was the one. Look at the... look at the resolution. It's a good camera... to shoot in the dark with". She was adorable. Beyond intoxicated and she was still passionate about her media. _

_She turned her head towards Lara sharply with a beaming grin on her face. "Let's check out the flashlight! Apparently, apparently it can throw _30 feet_" She placed heavy emphasis on the distance, a look of wonderment on her face. "We'll find home in no time". She was right. _

Sam moved her hand away from the touchpad and reached out towards the side of the monitor. A bottle of vodka followed. A _half empty _bottle of vodka. Panic and confusion consumed Lara. _Why was she drinking? On her own? _That was too much.

Lara placed her hand on Sam's shoulder just as the American girl placed the lip of the bottle to her own.

"Hey" Sam startled, vodka dribbling down her chin. She span around on her chair to face Lara. Her eyes were glassy, red rimmed. She was looking through Lara, unable to focus.

"Lara!?" she spluttered out. The surprised on her face was evident, uninhibited. She hastily turned back around and closed the image from her screen. When she faced her again there was a clumsy smile set up in place.

"You're home" she observed, her smile widening. She threw her arms around Lara's midsection pulling her close. "You were gone so long" she mumbled into her stomach.

Lara stared down at the mane of dark hair for a moment before threading her fingers through it. "Are you alright Sam?" She enunciated her words clearly, all her years working at the Nine Bells she found it was the best way to communicate with drunks.

"I'm fine" she drew this out with a deep breath. The tone was dismissive. It worried Lara.

"Why are you... drinking Sam?" She was aware that she had to tread lightly around her right now; past experience taught her that one wrong move and she would wall up. She would never ignore Lara; she was just aptly skilled at diverting the conversation. Many emotional drunken escapades at university often ended up with a teary Sam dragging her back onto the dance floor, fresh drink in hand and body moving in perfect rhythm to the bass. _This _was how Sam dealt with her problems – she didn't.

The music from her laptop changed; the tempo still slow, one which Lara recognised. "I _love _this one" stated Sam; she pulled back, the corners of her mouth twitching up. A sad smile.

She glazed up at Lara. "Dance with me?" _Wrong move Croft. _

"Sam I-" before she could finish Sam was on her feet, Lara's hand in her own. She took a swig of vodka and turned the volume up.

"Sam don't do this" she insisted. "Talk to me".

A finger was placed on her lips; Sam's face barely an inch from her own. Her pupils were blown wide.

"Sweetie" It was barely a breath. Her eyes were intense, set on her own. There was a slight shake of her head.

Lara pushed out a sigh and closed her eyes in defeat. She would get nowhere with her in this state.

She felt arms wrap around her neck and Sam's cheek brush her own and she settled her chin on her shoulder. She embraced the warmth and folded her own arms around Sam's petite waist, breathing in her perfume.

Sam had started rocking against her, a slow sway. She matched the rhythm.

Several minutes had passed when Sam broke their silence. "I wish we could go back" she murmured, her voice was lost.

Lara pulled her in tighter, curling her fingers through her hair. She couldn't talk about this now. "Sam you're drunk-"

"For_ fuck_ sake Lara!" Her tone was stern. She had pulled away, her glassy eyes burning holes into her own, a frown covering her forehead.

"_When _are we going to talk about it? Because at this rate I'll be dead before you consider it". She brought her hands up to Lara's collarbones and clutched at the fabric there.

"You're always fucking off and leaving me in this _fucking _flat. I _can't _be alone Lara, I can't-" Her voice broke. She shook her head and cast it downward. "I can't do this".

Lara stared at the older girl. Her emotions were conflicted; it was breaking her heart looking at her, _feeling _her tremble. But she couldn't face this now, she _couldn't _face Yamatai again.

"My heads all mixed up" she glanced back up at Lara. "Sometimes I don't know if what's happening is real, it's like she's still in my head" She swallowed thickly.

"Sam she's gone, of course she isn't there" She said it forcefully, as if saying it with meaning would make it true. It frightened her what Sam had just revealed.

"I can't stop thinking about it, how it felt..." she trailed off, her eyes becoming distant. She turned abruptly reaching out for the vodka. She managed a mouthful before Lara stopped her.

"_Sam"_ She pulled the bottle from her grasp, the American girl's head hanging in defeat. "This-" she brought the bottle into her line of sight. "This won't help".

"You were there for me" She said it so quietly Lara almost missed it. She drew in a shaky breath. "I thought that was it. I was fucked. And you just- you fucking _saved me"_ Her head tilted to the side to look at Lara.

"You nearly fucking _died _for me, and you- you're not here for me now".

Lara felt her stomach drop. The sorrow in Sam's eyes was deep, too deep for someone her age.

Tears were trailing down her cheeks and dripping from her chin. She stepped forwards and brushed them away with her thumbs.

"I'm so sorry Sam" It was barely a whisper. "I'm not-" She swallowed hard over the thick lump forming in her throat. "I'm not who you think I am-"

"I need you" It was a desperate murmur, her hands moving behind her neck and locking themselves there. She was shaking her head. She looked so small in that moment.

"I need you, I-" Their lips met.

Lara froze. Eyes wide open, her hands still resting on Sam's wet cheeks. _What was she- _but Sam moved her lips and she felt it in her stomach, pulling her in. Her eyes slipped shut.

Her mouth responded, their lips finding a rhythm. Teeth drew her full lower lip between Sam's and she couldn't help the hitch in her breath when she nipped down. _This was wrong. This was so so wrong-_

Her tongue traced her lip and Lara couldn't stop herself allowing it into her hot mouth. Her hands left Sam's face, one cupping behind her head, drawing her in closer, the other dropping to the small of her back, pulling her flush to her front.

Sam's finger tips were tracing over her collarbone, tracing down her ribcage, resting on her hip.

Their breath was heavy between them. Sam leaning heavily into her, hands fumbling at the base of her top, palms feeling up to the dip at her waistline.

Lara pulled her lips away, foreheads resting momentarily before Sam's lips descended on her cheek, to her jaw, to her neck. She couldn't stop the moan escaping her mouth. Her cheeks coloured.

"Sam" Her voice sounded so breathy, she liked it. It didn't help that Sam was flicking her tongue over her pulse point, cushioned between plump lips.

"Sam we shouldn't- you're drunk..." A thigh slid between her own, another shameful whimper elicited from her mouth when it reached the apex of her legs.

Hands traversed the contours of her body, moving towards her breast, lips now on her collarbone. Something triggered in Lara.

"_Sam" _She forced her consciousness out of the well of lust, her hands grabbing onto Sam's forearms. She felt Sam flinch and it wasn't until she ran her thumb over the inside of her arm did she realise why.

There was a mark. It felt raised and rough to the touch. She glanced down, pulling her arm into view. A red welt was visible from the streetlight pouring in through the window. It looked like a burn, a _fucking burn._ She stopped breathing.

Sam was hastily trying to pull the mark out of view, but it was too late.

"What the fuck is this?" All traces of lust had left her voice. Panic and fear had filled it instead. She wouldn't let go of her arm.

"It's nothing Lara" Her tone was absolute. She didn't want her to know about this.

Drunk Sam was a terrible liar. The lack of eye contact, her tone of voice. She was so obvious.

"Let's just..." Her lips came up to meet hers again.

Lara pulled away, glaring at her. "You did this to yourself, didn't you?" The question was rhetorical. She was in disbelief. How could she... _fuck. _

Sam's eyes filled with tears once again, her hand coming up to cover the mark.

"I didn't-" Her voice was tiny.

"Don't lie to me Sam!"

Blood was pumping hard around her body, she could _hear _it in her ears. Her breathing picked up, she didn't know how she looked in that moment but she could _tell _she was scaring Sam.

"Don't you fucking lie to me. How- why did you?" Her throat was tight.

She looked ashamed, like a dirty secret had just been revealed – _it had. _

"I wasn't thinking straight" She began, her voice was rocky.

"Yamatai was so fucked up, it _fucked _me up. I couldn't stop these images in my head. I was so scared there. I keep getting stuck on one memory" She swallowed.

"I was in the temple, and you were still stuck in that room. There was so much fire it _hurt" _Her eyes were distant, as if recollecting the events.

"There were so many stupid thoughts running through my head, I'd never felt so close to death on that island. You _shouldn't _forget something like that" Her voice was becoming increasingly strained. Lara relaxed her hold on her arm somewhat.

"I thought maybe if I felt like that again, felt the heat I mean, it might stop the memories..." She shrugged self-consciously and drew her eyes away, tears not quite ready to fall.

The Englishwoman was at a loss for what to say. Her heart was beating fast, the erratic flutters of a caged bird in her chest. She ran her thumb over the burn gently, willing it to heal as quickly as it had been made.

She had to fix her.

Wordlessly she gathered her in her arms, lips trembling. She felt Sam quiver in her arms. "I'm sorry I've been a bad friend lately" She barely squeezed it out before her shoulders began to shake, the tail-end breaking into a sob.

She buried her face into Sam's neck, clutching at her tightly. _She couldn't lose her again._

The American girl clung to her just as eagerly, her own muffled sobs being poured onto her shoulder. This isn't how it should be. This wasn't fair.

Sam's knees gave way and Lara held her close for their descent to the floor; their bodies leaning against the kitchen unit. Sam was tucked neatly between Lara's legs, hands balled up beneath her chin, the Englishwoman's jaw resting against the older girl's forehead. She tangled her fingers through dark hair, her other hand drawing small patterns on her arm.

Everything was so fragile right now, they were _crumbling. _Having this girl shaking in her arms was a wakeup call. Yamatai shouldn't be claiming victim's weeks after they'd left the Godforsaken place.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, her own solemn tears making tracks. Sam's shudders lessened enough for her to pull back. Balls of her palms running over her face to dry away the tears.

Her gaze rested on Lara's face. She reached up to brush away the remains of the younger girl's tears, her hand resting over her cheek.

She looked a mess. Hair sticking up at odd angles and her eyes heavily red rimmed.

"I care about you so much Lara" Her eyes dropped to her lips for a fleeting moment before finding her eyes again. She licked her lips. "But I can't keep living like this, it's killing me".

"I know Sam" She said softly, tucking some stray hair behind her ear. "I don't want that, I can't. I'll... we'll get help, I didn't realise you weren't coping as well as I thought" She was twirling the tips of Sam's hair between her fingers. She felt defeated.

"I can't do this on my own" Whispered Sam. Her tone was desperate.

"You won't" she said. She'd make sure of that, even if it meant facing her own demons.


	3. Therapy

Hello all!

Sorry for the haphazard updating. I'm more of a fic reader than a writer. I just wanted to thank you guys for your reviews and follows. It's really quite inspiring when I'm trying to find motivation to write.

I hope you're enjoying the story. In all honesty I'm not wholeheartedly sure where I'm going with this. If you have any suggestions or if you like what you're seeing then I'd love to hear from you.

Heads up for this chapter, naughty times ahead ;)

Peace and love.

**Chapter Three: Therapy**

A harsh whimper followed by fast erratic breaths rasped through her chapped lips. Shoulders heaving with the effort.

"Miss Croft, you need to control your breathing. You're in a safe place, nothing can hurt you here."

The meaningless words washed over her. The tightness in her chest ever growing. Her eyes darted around the room, drawn to the shadows. Breath stuttered in her throat. _How could her heart be hammering so hard? _She was becoming lightheaded.

A large hand encompassed hers. She didn't realise that her finger nails were digging into the upholstery.

"Slow your breathing Miss Croft, nice and slow. We were making excellent progress today."

_Progress? _A strangled laugh escaped her lips, eyes screwing up. She tilted her head down to hide as much of her terror stricken face from the therapist.

"We can stop talking about..."

She jerked to her feet before he could finish. _This session was over._

She bound for the door as fast as her trembling legs would allow. _Pretty quickly it turned out._

Her hand was twisting the handle as the therapist called "please don't..."

She was out of the door before he finished.

The reception area was surprisingly full. _Just how many people needed help?_

Her abrupt entrance unfortunately drew the attention of _every eye in the room_ towards her.

Her vision was pulsating. She couldn't get enough breath into her chest no matter how much she tried. _There were so many people..._

"_Lara?" _Her voice couldn't have stood out stronger.

Her eyes flitted right. Sam.

The magazine she had been reading had dropped to her lap, her hands still holding the pages in position. Glancing down she eyed the symbol of caduceus from the edge of a prescription packet peaking out of her handbag by her feet.

The beat of her heart faltered, as if the whole scene entered slow motion. The volume on reality had turned down. Her eyes drew up to meet ones filled with concern.

Three solid heartbeats. That's how long their gaze lasted.

It took three solid heart beats before sound returned to her ears, and then _everything rushed forward. _

She bolted.

Her senses were overloaded. Everything was so _intense. _She couldn't even form a coherent thought. _She needed to get out. _

She didn't care that staff and patients were hurrying out of her way. She didn't even mind knocking a few of them out of her way. There wasn't enough air in this place. She was going crazy.

She felt the brisk air on her face first. It filled her lungs and chilled her insides. It was wonderfully numbing.

She spent a few moments standing there, her gasping breaths puffed out tiny clouds of condensation into the air. It soothed the whining in the back of her head.

She heard hurried footfalls approach from behind. Her chest crushed inward on itself instinctively.

"Hey", the American intonation was unmistakable. She felt a warm arm embrace around her waist, glossy black hair swinging into her peripheral vision. Her shoulders relaxed in her presence.

She could feel Sam studying her face, gauging her. She wouldn't allow herself to look her way.

Delicate fingers found their way to her knuckles. Sam ran her thumb over them until Lara relinquished her tight fist. Sam's fingers slipped down to interlock with her own.

She felt her throat constrict.

"What happened back there?" She spoke softly and intimately.

The tension in her throat grew and she forced her eyes shut. She shook her head, over and over.

The pitch of Sam's voice highlighted her dismay. "It's OK sweetie, let's go." She tugged gentle on Lara's hand.

She managed to get into the passenger seat of the car before she broke.

Deep heart wrenching sobs filled the vehicle. Her face in her hands, shoulders rocking, tendrils of hair affixing themselves to her damp cheeks.

A firm hand pulled her sideways with a strength which surprised her. Her cheek brushed against a soft chest as a second hand guided her head there. Tender lips kissed her crown before settling a chin there. It only made her cry harder.

Her fingers grasped at the cloth at Sam's stomach. She was lost.

She wasn't sure how long they sat there, Sam whispering sweet nothings into her ear, but she couldn't be more grateful of her compassion.

The drive back to their flat was a long one.

Thankfully Sam was driving; she wasn't in the right mind frame to be operating heavy machinery. It allowed her to distract her mind with the passing views.

She found her gaze shifting towards her companion.

Her hair was growing out somewhat, it hung in disarray, the edges tickling her clavicles. Her skin was milky; it contrasted with the faint shadows encircling her eyes.

As if sensing her scrutiny, Sam's eyes and head tilted to face her. She was beautiful.

It was the first time that she'd appreciated this.

The edge of Sam's lip quirked upwards, there was a warm look in her eyes that Lara couldn't place. She returned the smile. Her stomach turning in a pleasurable way.

Sam returned her view to the road. She turned away herself, feeling colour creep up her neck.

She cleared her throat.

"I, er..." she paused. "I'm sorry for freaking out before; it got quite intense in there." She looked down at the hands in her lap, she didn't realise that she'd been picking at a scab at the base of her thumb. She stopped.

Sam's eyes left the road again to bore into hers, in this light Lara could swear they were a shade of bronze. They were entrancing.

"Sweetie I'm _proud _of you. Don't be giving me any of that." The inflection in her voice was uplifting. "Seriously, the fact that you came with me today means so much to me," she reached over and squeezed her thigh. "It's a step in the right direction and that's what matters".

She pushed out a laugh, "since when did you start speaking sense Sam?" she threw a smirk her way.

The American girl drew her lip into her mouth. She seemed to play with it in thought. She took a breath and held it before speaking.

"I just, want us to get better" she finally said. She looked over again with an openness which Lara wasn't sure she'd seen before. "I think this can work" she said hopefully. She had a wistful look in her eye as she looked away.

It must have been Sam's positive attitude but she felt uplifted for the duration of the ride. Maybe they would get better.

She'd been watching a teabag swirl around her mug when she felt Sam come up behind her. She felt her hands rest on her hips as she leant her chin on her shoulder. The fingers of her left hand danced up to the mutilation on her side. She was oddly soothed by this.

She smiled to herself.

"How was your shower?" she queried, her fingers guiding a teaspoon into the hot liquid to remove the bag.

The American girl drew in a deep breath before expelling it into her neck, a soft hum vibrated in her throat. "Relaxing" she replied softly. Her hand had stilled over her hip, cupping it.

"I think you should have a bath sweetie, it's been a long day." she squeezed her hip. "I can order takeout for when you get out if you like?"

The Brit turned in her arms. The older girl's cheeks were tinged pink and her hair was voluminous from her hair dryer. She brought her arms up to rest on her shoulders so she could play with the soft strands at the back of her neck.

"Sounds perfect Sam" she quirked her mouth into a small smile as thanks for her offer. In all honestly she'd been trying every relaxation technique she knew since arriving home. She still wasn't quite ready to open up entirely about Yamatai, especially not to some therapist. A cup of tea and a bath sounded very appealing.

The warmth in Sam's eyes spread as her own lips curved, her thumbs brushing over the waist band of her jeans. "I'll go fill it up if you like while you finish making your tea" she said, nodding her head towards the streaming mug.

Lara ruffled the back of Sam's head before moving towards the fridge, the American's hands trailing down her side as she stepped away.

"You really are speaking sense lately Nishimura, maybe you should seek a career change", she threw a grin over her shoulder. "Samantha Nishimura, life coach" she gave a short laugh.

She turned to find Sam in the same position, head tilted towards her with a glint in her eyes. "Hey it's only worth it if my clients actually listen to anything I have to say. I've lost count the amount of times I've _begged _you to come out with me to bars instead of reading your stuffy books." She leant her weight onto her hip and folded hers arms across her chest.

"Miss _Bookworm _here would have had a _lot more _fun if she was out with Party Girl here." She signalled to herself with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

"_Miss Bookworm _would have had a lot more fun if she wasn't looking after Party Girl's arse as she threw up all night into our toilet" she replied as she sashayed back towards her mug, milk in hand.

Sam leant against the counter, staring off into the distance. "I was perfectly fine to sort myself out Croft" she claimed, her toned gave away her surrender. She knew Lara had her.

"That's not what your texts suggested" threw Lara; she glanced up as she finished stirring to flash Sam her winning smile. She feigned a terrible American accent, "'Laaaara, I can't find my money', 'Laaaara I don't know where I am', 'Laaar-"

"-Yeah, yeah Croft, I get the picture." She returned the knowing look in Lara's eyes with a mischievous look on her face. "I'll go fill your stupid bath, _Lady Croft_", she span to give her a curtsey before sauntering off. A disapproving "_oi" _followed behind her. Lara only got a giggle as a response.

She found Sam sitting on the edge of the bath as it slowly filled. Her head was bowed downwards towards a white box in her hands. A familiar green symbol covered one end. She watched her from the doorway, holding her mug to her face and blowing the stream away periodically. She couldn't help the knot forming in her stomach.

The older girl opened the tab to remove the plastic. She pierced the foil to remove the tiny white pill. She swallowed it dry, pulling a face and shaking her head. Her focus was now on the figure in the doorway.

There was a moment of silence where both girls studied each other. The sound of running water perforated the calm.

Sam broke eye contact first to return her attention to the box still in her hands. Her face had remained vacant during the whole exchange.

"So yeah..." she started. "Doctor Timlin thought I might benefit from taking these" she faced the Brit again shaking the box in her hand. "He said it would take a few weeks for them to really get to work, but it should help with how I'm feeling." Lara recognised the look of acceptance on the girls face.

She looked down again, slightly sheepishly. "I wasn't... I don't-" she paused, taking a breath. "You're OK with this right?" she finally returned her gaze, a hint of desperation underlining it, eyebrows drawn together anxiously.

She stood there stunned for a moment, midway through blowing her tea. _Why would she..?_

"Sam of course I'm OK with this, I don't know why you would think I wasn't", she said this softly, she didn't want to seem as if she was berating her. Sam needed her support, just as she needed Sam's.

Affirming her statement, she moved forwards into the bathroom, placing her tea on the hand basin, along with Sam's box of pills. She pulled the vulnerable girl into her arms, pulling her face to her chest. She felt her physically relax against her as she wrapped her own arms around Lara's waist.

"It's not a bad thing that you're taking medication, it isn't forever remember?" she withdrew from her, tipping her chin up to face her. There was a glossy sheen to her eyes.

"I know" her voice was stronger that she expected. "I just don't want you to think I'm... weak, or something..." she turned her head to the side, eyeing the water level in the tub. Her shoulders deflated.

_So that's what bothering her..._

"Sam you're not weak" she dropped down to her knees between Sam's legs, hands on either thigh. "I've never thought you were weak. This is just to take the edge off your nerves, it'll help you" she reached up to tuck a curtain of hair behind her ear, her hand lingered there.

"It's just not normal is it?" their eyes met again. The warmth in her eyes was clouded.

"What we went through wasn't normal" she whispered, fingers now tracing patterns on the side of her neck, her other hand tracing its way towards her hip.

Her eyes were murky. Pupils blown wide, they were entrancing. She felt Sam's fingers meet her elbow; they danced up and down her arm in a rhythmic pattern.

"No, it wasn't" it was barely a breath that ghosted over her lips. _When did they get so close?_

Her eyes dipped to Sam's mouth. Her stomach twisted and she couldn't help the tongue that darted out to wet her own lips. Breath held. _She wanted her. _

One look into Sam's eyes told her everything she needed to know.

Her lips were softer than she remembered. The plump flesh sliding against her own. A growl of appreciated crept up her throat. Fingers glided effortlessly through her silky hair to pull her closer.

She was aware of hands fisting the fabric at her shoulders, drawing her flush against the American girl. A hand looped around her back to trace down her spine. She couldn't help the shiver that followed.

A warm tongue outlined her upper lip as a hand ran over her bottom. Her breath hitched in her throat and she sucked the roaming muscle into her mouth. The action elicited a whimper from the older girl. A firm squeeze of her buttock followed.

Her own hand had dropped from her hair to toy with her collarbone, tugging back the cloth of her pyjama top. Her other hand fed up her waistline to thumb at her ribcage.

A delicate hand cupped hers and drew it down to the American's breast. Another groan emitted from the older girl as she squeezed the soft flesh in her palm.

Their lips parted for a moment, dark eyes meeting, hands still caressing their bodies. Breath mingling between them.

The younger girl swallowed. Lips parting she murmured "what _is_ this?"

Her thumb caught over an erect nipple causing the other girls breath to catch in her throat. She brought her hand up to Brit's face and ran her thumb over her bottom lip, her eyes following the movement.

"We'll figure it out later" she insisted, her mouth moving down to cover her own again. Hands dropped to her bust and there was a satisfied groan released into her mouth.

Their lips tangled in a frenzy, erratic breaths escaping them with grunts and whimpers. Nails dragged down her abdomen, finger tips playing with the exposed skin above her waistline.

She moved her mouth from Sam's, gliding her lips along her jaw line to nip at the flesh of her earlobe. The older girl tilted her neck and she took advantage of the newly exposed skin.

She was sucking over a particularly sensitive part, guessing by the sounds Sam was making when the American slipped her fingers past the waistline of her jeans. She flinched back as fingers danced across the sensitive skin. She grabbed her wrist stilling her.

"Hang on" she panted, her eyes moving up to her face. The older girl looked just as flustered as she felt. "Maybe we should, I've never-" she swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "I don't think we should be doing this right now. We should, take this slow" she placed a lingering kiss on the other girl's mouth, brushing her hair back.

When she pulled back hungry eyes bore into her own. She felt it in her groin.

"Yeah" she said somewhat breathlessly, her fingers now tracing the lines of her hips. "You're prob- _shit!" _she swiftly jumped to her feet, knocking the younger girl onto her bottom. She span around as water started to pour over the lip of the tub. She hastily jumped towards the taps to turn off the running water. A very wet arse now in Lara's face.

She couldn't help the laugh bubbling up her throat as she observed the situation. She leant over to grab for a towel to mop up the damage.

An irritated grunt escaped the older girl. "These we're clean on tonight! That's your fault for distracting me Croft" she threw a half-serious, half-playful look her way, hands now feeling how wet her bottom was.

She continued to grin as she soaked up the water. "I didn't hear you complaining at the time" she retorted. _This was so weird flirting with Sam. _

She glanced up to see the other girl's reaction. She still had that hungry look in her eyes.

"Speechless? That's a first" she laughed at the shove that followed.

"I'll leave you to your bath sweetie" she grumbled, "I need to get out of these pants" she grimaced as she pulled the wet fabric away from her buttock; a resounding slapping noise filled the room as she let go.

She pulled herself to her feet and pulled out the plug to empty the bath a little. She turned back to Sam to find her eyes roaming over her body. _Did they really just..? This was weird. _

"We'll talk about this later yeah?" she said, placing a small smile on her face. "A lot's just happened right now..." she trailed off. Her eyes fixated on her friend's chest. She shook her head.

"Agreed" the American replied. "I'll erm... I'll order us some takeout then yeah? Chinese sound good?"

"Great, I'll have the same as usual" she re-plugged the drain.

"Great" the American responded. The atmosphere was still heavy between them. She turned away and shut the door behind her.

_Shit. What had just happened?_ She tilted her head back and let out a deep breath. Her body was still buzzed. She pulled her top over her head and unbuttoned her jeans. Pulling them down with her knickers she noticed how _damp _the material was. It caused her groin to twinge.

She faced the mirror to check herself out. Her skin was slightly flushed on her chest and cheeks, and her hair was falling out of its tie in loose wisps around her face. She eyed her breasts remembering Sam's hands there. Unclasping her bra she released them bringing her own hands up to feel them. She sucked in a sharp breath. _They were so sensitive right now. _

She dipped her hand downwards to the soft skin between her legs. Her fingers finding her hot centre and how wet it was. _Shit. _

She was so aroused. She couldn't help but trail her fingers up her slit to press over her clit. She squeezed her eyes shut at the sensation.

_You were kissing your best friend not five minutes ago, you can't masturbate over it. _

She eyed herself in the mirror again, one hand still between her legs and the other now plucking at her nipple. _Croft this is stepping over a line..._

She let out a sigh of defeat and turned her back to the mirror. _This is wrong Croft. _

She leant against the basin and rubbed a circle around her clit, a heavy breath leaving her. The bundle of nerves responded, a fire growing in her abdomen. She squeezed the flesh of her breast as she ran her fingers back down to her core, tugging at her nipple as she teased her entrance. She couldn't help herself.

Slowly she slipped a single finger inside, not too deep. She dragged her second hand down to bear down on her throbbing clit. She teethed her lip to quell any escaping noises. She slipped her finger out only to push in more firmly. _Stop it Croft. _

Her mind flew to their earlier actions. Sam's hands on her waist, in her hair, _on her breasts... _

"It'll be twenty minutes sweetie! They mustn't have many orders tonight. You best hurry up!"

She stilled her actions. Frozen. _Fuck. _

"Th-thanks Sam!" she cleared her throat, hands coming to rest on the basin behind her. She breathed out a sigh in an attempt to slow her thudding heart and tugged the bobble out of her hair.

"I won't be too much longer"

_Pull yourself together girl..._

She took a purposeful stride towards the bath. _Maybe she was more messed up than she realised..._


End file.
